dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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