My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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