i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
