wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
