Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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