Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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