Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
