I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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