He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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