if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
