I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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