What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
