was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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