my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
