im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
