I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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