It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize