How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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