Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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