True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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