This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
