the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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