I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
