You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
