I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
