I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
