Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
