This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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