It was confusing and full of hummus
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
