He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
