i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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