Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
