it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
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