Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
