So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
