girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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