I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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