Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
