I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
