She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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