He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
