So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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