I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
