I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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