How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
