i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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