Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
