I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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