dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
