could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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